Category: Relationship

When one of you is laid off or seriously ill or grieving a parent’s recent death, both of you get stressed. So does your relationship. Choose carefully how to deal with each…

Living together can feel simpler and safer than marriage, especially if you’ve watched your parent’s marriage come to an unhappy end. But is it? Living together means you are free to leave….

I’m sure you have heard of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Lots of us have read the book. Others have learned the languages from magazine articles or workshops.If you and your husband…

When I get into the car with my husband, I am often frightened. And I know I am not alone. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from women is that…

When I get into the car with my husband, I am often frightened. And I know I am not alone. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from women is that…

From a recent comment on What Should You Expect from a Husband or Wife?: I do try to assume love, but what do you do when your husband’s idea of “helping” is…

Do you have a brother-in-law or sister-in-law you can count on? How about a sibling of your mother-in-law? Thank your marriage. Do you have big, warm holiday dinners with your extended family?…

This is actually a great combo! Put it to good use. Revitalizing your relationship will take some effort. So would building a new life as a divorced person if you choose not…

“It just struck me that hypothesizing about possible reasons for a spouse’s behavior could be seen by friends and other bystanders as making excuses for the spouse.” This is from a frequent…

Not all married couples celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you’re in one that does, or if your wife or husband could use a little boost, here are some tips. Don’t assume your spouse…

The best way to handle a disagreement is to avoid it. If your spouse steals the covers or if you tend to move around a lot in your sleep: Put one bottom…

When you’re in a marriage, you cannot ever win a fight with your husband or wife by shouting louder, being tricky, offering more rational explanations of your side, or marshaling friends and…

A good life includes frequent periods of what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow. One goal. Each step just slightly more than you were capable of yesterday. No awareness of time or even emotions….

If your otherwise loving marriage has been a bit disappointing lately, try this: share wishes, not complaints. A wish is an opportunity for your spouse to earn that delicious feeling of acting…

There are many reasons to marry. Beware of scope creep. I need to remind myself sometimes that I married for love, not for a better place to live or help paying the…

My first husband and I did this entirely by accident, and now I highly recommend it, even though he did not survive to enjoy the date, and I am happily remarried to…

S Snarky comments about your wife or husband never make a marriage happier or stronger…not even if you share them only with your friends. AssumeLove.com – celebrating our 18th anniversary today. Happy…

When you married, your spouse seemed perfect. Since then, you’ve discovered an upsetting habit. Or she’s given up vegan for keto. Or he’s stopped exercising and put on 60 pounds. Maybe Mr….

I was reminded again last week about something a client taught me long ago. Some of us make our decisions out loud. Others don’t speak until they have a decision to announce….

I read a lot of relationship and marriage newsletters, columns, and blogs. Money issues come up a lot in them. The advice givers fall into two camps. I wish we had research…

I spent over an hour reading comments this weekend on Facebook, about a letter to Miss Manners in the Washington Post. Never saw her column, and none of the commenters even touched…

Tunnel vision is like looking through an empty paper towel roll. You still see things, but you don’t see all of your options. And it will sneak up on you. In my…

June brings lots of anniversaries. If you’re wondering how to let your husband or wife feel your love, I want to help. Q. If I take my wife away for a just-us…

Who put the government in charge of marriage? Why do we need a license to marry? Why do we need a judge to divorce? In the US and quite possibly every other…

Respect is just as important as love for a healthy marriage, and maybe even more important. Contempt (the opposite of respect, reflected in eye-rolling, a wrinkled nose, or a “yeah, right”) is…

I received an interesting comment on my When Your Spouse Won’t Use Your Love Language post. So one spouse should just accept that their spouse is so self absorbed and narcissistic that…

I thought today I might review some of the well-established basics for a healthy marriage. 1. No Terrorism Never, ever cause your spouse physical harm or fear to get your way. No…

I’m not sure why this never occurred to me when I was contemplating a divorce, so maybe it hasn’t occurred to you, either. If something’s missing in your marriage—romance, conversation, encouragement, quality…

I recently read two recently published books about marital abuse, especially emotional abuse, and I recommend both of them. Unlike the many written by psychologists and marriage therapists, these are both written…